Men

Why are men so hard to be in a relationship with? I don't believe in any of that men are from mars, women are from venus crap but I have come to realize that my experience with men is one rife with frustration and sadness. Now understand that I do not mean my sons. I love my sons, they are 2 of the most honest and open men I have ever met. We have a great relationship and I respect them .

I am referring to my romantic relationships over the years. I love men, I do. The problem is that I don't really understand them. I have a relationship that was going along great for 10 years and all I needed was for this man to hold up his share of responsibility by keeping a job but during the course of the 10 years he lost job after job by getting fired. He is a smart man, too smart to keep getting fired so I had to ask myself why? What is his issue that causes him not to have a strong work ethic. Then I realised that no matter how much I thought about it or analyzed it, I could not solve it for him. He has to solve it for himself.

Another man that I loved could not commit to dating just me. I know he loved me. I could tell by all of his words and actions that that was true. I want monogamy. That is the only way I can trust and be open to love. I don't need marriage or commitment after a few months but after a certain period of time I want to be the only woman that he is sleeping with. My sister died of AIDS. I watched it happen. I know it exists in heterosexual relationships. It is a fact of life that a lot of people choose to pretend will never happen to them. The fact that there was another woman in the picture in this relationship did not allow me to be myself. I like to relax into a relationship, not feel like I am competing with some unknown.

I like nice men. I like a man to occasionally bring me flowers and to love me openly. I don't like games, don't play them myself and don't want to be in a relationship with those who do. I liked bad boys when I was young and immature but not anymore. I think most mature women like kind men. I asked a bunch of my girlfriends recently that very question and they all said yes, a man who you know loves you, who isn't afraid to show it that is the greatest apphrodisiac of all.


I am still hopeful that I will find happiness with one man. I love men, I do. I just don't understand them but I am not going to stop trying.