Love

I love a man so clearly and I see him for who he is. Not for who I would want him to be though I certainly could come up with some changes. Aren't we all geared that way? Please call more, come home when you say you are. Trust me, love me like no other. I choose for the first time in our relationship to stand back and possibly let him go. I don't want to.

For I am not the familar one. I am the new one. The untried, the strange. I have not manipulated him with silence when he wanted contact or words when he wanted solitude. I have been myself. The cardinal sin that I have committed is being whole and close and loving. Yet I sense I am not enough. He will not let me be enough.

He cannot trust my love. My love is open and warm. Affectionate and living. Close. I will be in his presence at his request and ask only for the joy of being with him. I do not need hotels or trips to see him. I am excited to come to him. Will this last forever, I hope so. Someday I may want more. But for now the joy of being is enough.

I do want his loyalty. I do because what is a relationship with lies between you. True love springs from true trust. To be vulnerable with anyone whether soulfully or in the flesh is to express our most childlike selves.

I deserve his love, he deserves mine but the pain of intimacy and the sirens call of familiarity may be too much. I hope not. I truly love him, I do.